Presbyterian National Assembly Testimony
June, 2008

Good morning!

My name is Misa Leonessa Garavaglia and I’d like to thank you for extending this invitation to share my story with you today.

I was born in 1960 in an ambulance right here in San Jose. Because it was considered an “unclean birth”, the hospital separated me from my mother when we arrived and I was not allowed to see her for the first seven days of my life. After that, my mother and I were unable to bond, as was the case with all of her five children, due to a mental disorder on her part. My grandmother did bond with me at a young age, but, for some reason, detached from me at about three.

For the first two years of my life, my father treated me like his princess. After that, alcoholism took over and he became emotionally and physically abusive. At the age of three, my grandfather involved me in a ritual ceremony where I was abused sexually, spiritually and emotionally. From the age of four to 12, I continued to be abused sexually and emotionally by three other males in the family.

At 14, I left the Catholic Church I had been raised in and began attending Trinity Presbyterian Church in San Jose. There I opened my heart to relationship with a Creator who, I was told, loved me completely. I wanted this love; in fact, I was desperate for it. A couple from Trinity took me in as a college student and attempted to reach out to me, but I was horribly wounded inside and unable to receive love from anyone, including God. At 15, I went to Girl Scout camp and was exposed to lesbian relationships there. Desperately needy for female love, I was drawn to big-busted women who reminded me of my gramma’s physique.

After five years of lesbian involvement, I heard God calling me to walk away from the lifestyle, saying that He had something better for me ahead. No shame, no rejection—just asked me to trust His love for me and let go of my control to meet my need for love. I said “yes.”

Four years later, at the age of 24, I married. I had two lovely little girls, (one of which is here today), and proceeded to spend the next 20 years parenting and homeschooling.

I thought my same-sex drive had disappeared, but to my surprise, I experienced a strong attraction to another big-busted woman at 37. God used that time to help me walk through some deep healing from sexual abuse issues and mother wounds. The drive has been completely gone since then, for nearly nine years now.

I currently write and speak and do inner-healing work with other abused women, as I continue to walk through healing from the severe abuse I grew up in. I am still learning to love and be loved, as we all will be this side of Heaven. My deep needs for acceptance and unconditional love are being met through a precious, intimate relationship with my Savior, who has known me and walked along side me since I was conceived. He has pursued me with perfect love and I have at last found the place of healing in His compassionate embrace. He has lifted me out of a sea of despair and set me down on a firm foundation, filled with peace and joy where, previously, there was only an all-consuming longing to be loved. To God be the glory!