From glass alabaster she poured out the depths of her soul. O foot of Christ would You wait if her harlotries known? Falls a tear to darken the dirt. Of humblest offering to forgive the hurt. She is strong enough to stand in Your love. I can hear her say…I’m weak. I’m poor. I’m broken Lord but I’m yours. Hold me now. Let he without sin cast the first stone if you will. To say that my bride isn’t worth half the blood that I’ve spilled. Point your finger and laugh if you choose. To say my beloved is borrowed and used. Jennifer Knapp (C.D. Kansas)

On June 29th, 1993 I received Jesus Christ into my life as Lord and Savior. Prior to that day, I had been actively involved in the homosexual community for approximately 10 years. Alone and finding it difficult to find counsel within the church, I began reading books such as: Out of Egypt by Jeannette Howard, Counseling the Homosexual by Michael R. Saia, Coming Out of Homosexuality by Bob Davies & Lori Rentzel, and Not Afraid to Change by John Paulk. I began to desire change and growth, and I wanted to know Jesus and to be healed.

Previously, I had tried to prove my lifestyle was acceptable to God. But God was revealing to me his view of my lifestyle from his heart and from his eyes. I desired and needed healing within my thoughts and my emotions. “Change me Lord!” became my heart’s cry.

In 1994-95, one year after leaving the homosexual lifestyle and giving my life to the Lord, I went to EBI (a Bible School) in New York. It was there in New York that I attended an Exodus Conference held at BP Church. Shortly thereafter, I began one-on-one counseling. However, in 1995, due to limited finances, I dropped out of Bible School and returned to Detroit, Michigan. I planned to return to EBI the following year to finish my schooling. Six months turned into 3 years before I’d return to EBI.

While in Detroit, during those 3 years, I found myself falling into temptation, and for a few months I actually began to give into that temptation. Confused, angry with myself, afraid and desperate, I cried out to the Lord. Though I’d given into temptation, I did not desire to return to my former lifestyle. I could not walk away from the Lord. He had touched my life, sent His mercy, shown His love, brought grace and was beginning to heal me from life’s hurts and wounds.

R.C.F. (the church I attended in Michigan) was starting a new session for a Desert Stream Program called Living Waters. I went for my interview and began the program. There I found forgiveness from God, and began to understand why I had found myself falling into temptation. I found support, help, guidance and direction. Most importantly God began a deeper healing in me - healing that removed layer after layer of pain, lies, deception, and abuse. More of God’s grace, mercy and love were revealed and a stronger relationship with God was being developed.

Three weeks before completion of Desert Stream, I was offered the opportunity to return to EBI as a staff member, and I’d be able to attend classes which would allow me to graduate. I graduated in April 2002. Completing EBI and finishing what was started had been an important goal to me.

One week after completing Desert Stream, I returned to New York. I desired to remain accountable, to grow, and to find guidance and help within a support group. Once situated, I began attending the Ministry at BP Church.

Over the years I’ve continued to find healing through a 2 month mini-program on Boundaries and by attending classes at EBI such as Victorious Christian Living, and Spiritual Warfare . During that time the Lord continued to remove the layers of pain, allowing for healing in the area of relationships, rejection, self-worth, self-hatred, codependency, purity, forgiveness, and consecration. Words of encouragement were spoken over me (into my life) which helped break life-long bondages.

The result is that I’m being set free day by day. My desire is to be aligned with God and His will, and I pray that God’s will be my will. I look to know Him personally, to allow Him to work in me and through me, and to serve Him. I desire to be restored to the person he intended for me to be from the beginning. I pray that the healing, growth, experience and knowledge that I’ve come to obtain over these past years may be used to help others walk into a victorious Christian life.