Encouragement from a Recovering Sex-Addict

Sometimes I feel like a freak, some horrible, ugly mistake of nature. Oh, I look normal. I don't stand out in a crowd physically or socially. My clothes match. I know how to behave in public. People don't see me, scream, and run the other way. I can put up a pretty decent front. But deep inside I sometimes feel like I don't belong on this planet.

Why? I'm a sex addict. I am unnaturally attracted to and can become preoccupied with pornographic material, lustful thoughts, and erotic fantasies. I have to work at not mentally undressing, flirting inappropriately with, or objectifying the women I meet. I've nearly destroyed my life and my ministry because I've been as hooked on lust as an alcoholic is on booze and a drug addict is on cocaine.

This has caused me great shame and sadness. I've been shamed by my behavior and saddened by the belief that I was an aberration, maybe even an abomination. The more shame and sadness I felt, the more I used sex to escape and numb the feelings. The more I indulged in my addiction, the more shame and sadness I felt. It was a vicious, uncontrollable cycle.

But when I finally hit rock bottom, I was able to admit that my life was out of control; that I was in the grip of something that I could not manage by way of will power or good intentions. From that moment, as I began surrendering my addiction and my life more and more to God, it slowly began to dawn on me that I was not a freak, aberration, or abomination. I was a fearfully and wonderfully made creation of God, somebody of such worth to God that he was willing to give up his only Son for me. My behaviors were wrong. They needed to stop. But in the eyes of God, I have always been something special.

Maybe you or someone you know is caught in the deadly grip of sexual addiction. Maybe you or someone you love is hooked on pornography, or can't stop acting out sexually. Maybe your family is being torn apart by this addiction. Maybe the shame and sadness are destroying you, a loved one, or an important relationship.

Whatever your situation, you are not alone. The God who created you loves you. The Christ who died for you is calling you. There are Twelve-Step groups and church ministries where you can meet others like yourself, and together with them find love, acceptance, understanding, hope, and healing.

You're not a freak. Like all of us, you're a sinner in need of God's gracious healing and forgiveness. Like every other human being, something evil has short-circuited your inner wiring in a particular way. You didn't do it. You only responded to it. Like all of us, you went looking for God in all the wrong places. But if you'll admit that you're in a mess beyond your ability to manage, surrender yourself to the healing power of God, and faithfully seek to follow Jesus, you can find healing. The inner wiring will never get fully straightened out this side of heaven. But healing can begin at this moment, and continue into eternity. Again, you're not a freak. You're a child of God, and my brother or sister. God loves you, and so do I.